comment icon 83 more comments Welcome to my life. By the way, this is not just any chocolate cake. Try more like a perfectly dense and moist flourless (almost) chocolate cake that only requires 5 ingredients and can be baked into bars and is topped with the world’s best and most chocolatey and most simple frosting. THAT is what I’m eating for breakfast. When Roald Dahl wrote his book Matilda, he included a cake-loving character named Bruce Bogtrotter whose punishment for stealing cake was eating a whole ‘nother cake. Poor Bruce! That is cruel. Oooor is it? That’s what I love about Roald Dahl – he makes us think deep thoughts about chocolate cake. My girls and I enjoyed reading this story together in school, and then Bjork and I invited them over to watch the movie at our apartment, because we like to see how many kids we can cram into one teeny room when it’s 100 degrees out. And yes, they want blankets when it’s 100 degrees out. So naturally, after that, I had to make the cake. Had. To. This comes from a really wacky picture book/cookbook of all of Roald Dahl’s craziest book foods. Like frobscottle and snozzcumbers from the BFG, hot frogs from James and the Giant Peach, and lickable wallpaper from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. To the person who understands what I’m talking about: I love you. This original chocolate cake recipe is meant to be baked, um, as a cake. Deeeep thoughts today. But even though it’s a cake, I actually baked it into something more resembling bars, 1) because I have a thing for dessert bars, and 2) because I don’t have a round cake pan here in the Philippines. Annnnd I maybe don’t have one at home, either. Bad food blogger. Usually I buy one of those round tinny ones for 99c and try to wash and reuse it at least 50 times until it’s so flimsy that I can’t even lift it into the oven. I made another chocolate cake (sooo good) where I actually did use a 99c tin cake pan and TOOK THE PICTURES IN IT without even realizing. And then I ate the whole thing in 2 days, and you guys liked it, so whatever. We’re all good. Since I don’t have a real round cake pan, but I do have something resembling a brownie pan, I decided to go with the sheet cake and/or bars approach. And oooo-ey. These flourless (almost) chocolate cake bars were just as good as they looked in the movie. That frosting? Oh, you guys. I live for that ganache-y frosting right now. It’s thick and luscious and creamy and sets up into a firm frosting layer when you keep it in the fridge like we do with all chocolate in this 100 degree land, kind of like this old fashioned frosting in a different, more chocolatey way. These bars are not for the faint of heart. Lots of butter, lots of chocolate, lots of thick, dense, fudgy chocolate cake bar texture going on here. You wouldn’t expect anything else from someone named Bruce Bogtrotter, would you? Bruce just knows. Oh, by the way? This is a picture of my sweet class. I started with six and ended with four, since two girls have left to join their new adoptive families. These girls are the highlight of my everything. 4.5 from 11 reviews And as of this week, school is done for the year. That kind of takes my breath away.